This summer has been a summer of exciting beginnings and reluctant endings. My father passed away at the beginning of summer, which was an unexpected blow mainly because I wasn’t prepared for losing him. On reflection though, there are few circumstances where we’re fortunate enough to be prepared for the loss of a loved one. My dad was my mother’s primary caregiver since she became ill years ago. We’ve all been so focussed on mom’s waxing and waning health that dad’s situation took our family and his friends by surprise.
I wasn’t sure if this summer was the best time to complete my yoga teacher training, but it was the best thing I could have done for myself. (also dad would have insisted that I finish what I started!) The process was rigorous; physically, mentally and emotionally draining. As an exercise in processing grief and loss, I can’t recommend yoga study enough.
Yoga study and practice has been giving me comfort, strength and stability. But I’ve also been enjoying comfort food…a lot. As those of you who live in yoga wear know, sometimes it’s hard to keep on top of those extra lbs when your yoga pants are body shapers — mine are! I’ve been in a bit of denial about the weight gain, but increasingly I’ve noticed that I’ve been saying to myself; “I look puffy in that pic!” Today I was in the yard with my boy who was taking pickies for me for a yoga teacher bio (I’m teaching at a studio starting next week!). As I was going through the pics I realized that it’s not that I’ve been having unflattering pics taken….I’ve gained weight. The realization made me hungry for some cookie dough.
So my self care for September is going to involve eating healthier… and less. And accepting that feeling hungry isn’t a terrible thing. I may feel hungry for comfort foods, but my body needs to reflect on WHY I’m needing comfort in that moment.